Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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