the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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