So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
