She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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