I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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