she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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