im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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