You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Is it because I queefed?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
