I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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