You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
