Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
