He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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