did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
