I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
