apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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