Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
