had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
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she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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