You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
