how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
