Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
