There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
