The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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