I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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