Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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