school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
