What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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