my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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