I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
