There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
