$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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