So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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