whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
