just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
