Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
