I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
