I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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