Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize