Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
two words...techno handjob
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
