Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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