I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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