Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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