Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
