they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
