I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize