is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
