David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
ttyl tear gas
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
