I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
