1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
