bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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