i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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