I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
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Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
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