how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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