Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i wish my penis had a tongue
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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