NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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