i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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