How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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