please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
smell my finger.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
