dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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