OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
