Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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