is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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