I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
