You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Sorry my hands just texted you
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
